FRIDAY FICTIONEERS
Here is my Friday Fictioneer’s 100-word story based on the photo prompt below.
Emergence
by Gretchen Fogelstrom
All day I could feel her. I felt her movements below the surface flow through my arms.
I couldn’t stop.
She needed me.
She needed to emerge.
I needed nourishment. I turned, only to discover I couldn’t leave. I turned back.
She was not alone.
Now there were two. They were caressing, loving each other. I hated him. He wasn’t supposed to be.
Now they needed me.
But I wouldn’t let them escape. She was mine, not his.
They would not emerge.
In one quick movement, they became she and my pounding heart began to calm.
But as I raised my eyes to the destruction I had committed, she had become he.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23 Comments
Donna
Fascinating and thought-provoking. Donna
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks Donna! 😊
Sandra
That ‘he’ was determined to have his day in the sun. Very original, enjoyed it.
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks Sandra – it was a great photo prompt!
readinpleasure
Wow. Very orginal and psychological. Well done. 🙂 http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/fridayfictioneers-janus/
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks!
sustainabilitea
Nicely creepy! I felt what the artist saw in the stone struggling to emerge and the relationship between and artist and his work, but when she/they got out of control, that was unexpected.
janet
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks it was fun to visualize as I wrote.
anelephantcant
Excellent. And very well developed.
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks. It was a fun prompt.
claireful
Very original. If the sculpture hadn’t been there as the prompt, your story could almost be read as a pregnancy, when the mother discovers she’s having twins.
rochellewisoff
Dear Gretchen,
Now that’s an artist who takes his work far too seriously. I think he needs to get out more among real people. Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
gretchenfogelstrom
Too true! Thanks!
dmmacilroy
Dear Gretchen,
The obsessive nature of artists was well illustrated in your piece. Van Gogh could relate.
Aloha,
Doug
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks Doug!
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
This could either be a case for shrink or a really scary thriller. And still open ended.
gretchenfogelstrom
Duhn duhn duhhhhhn 🙂
newpillowbook
“I felt her movements below the surface flow through my arms.” – Creepy and effective, and it gives us our first look at the sculptor’s obsessive personality. Great sentence.
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks so much!
Shirley McCann
Unexpected ending. Good job.
gretchenfogelstrom
Thanks. Glad it was unexpected.
Joe Owens
THe poor guy found the girl to love and the other guy demanded to be a part. Even while trying to separate them he st the guy free.
gretchenfogelstrom
Yep – those three-somes!